The Man in the Reflective Surface

I didn't go to work as an un-employee on the day of Michael Jackson's memorial service. Traffic was a nightmare, and I need to be under some sort of influence to drive, and with more than one pedestrian out in L.A., it was just too dangerous for me.

However, someone who did make it out to the memorial is Matt Walsh, capturing the emotion and hope and dental hygiene of the memorial. Check it out.

And remember, if you want to make the world a better place... uh... I don't know this song. I was born in 1985.

We're Featured in LAist!

Always OnStar, created by Jason Horton, is featured on LAist.

Check it out here.

I just shit my pants.

This Doesn't Really Have an Overall Theme, Per Se...

A few stores down from UCBTLA, there's a coffee shop known as the Bourgeois Pig. There's a lot of controversy over this place because around 5 pm, the slow motion shift takes place.

Needless to say, since it's East Coast weather out today, I'm freezing and went to buy myself a cup of tea. Every time you buy tea there, the barista always warns you that it's "really hot".

Cut to me, two seconds later, knocking the lid off of the cup and scalding hot water splattering over my innocent baby hands. This is the worst burn I ever felt. And I got a second degree burn from an Easy Bake Oven before. (That was the day I learned that Easy Bake Ovens aren't kilns and year-old rubber cement isn't clay.)

That's not what I was going to write about today. Yesterday was my birthday and I'm still a little drunk and I've been having weird thoughts all morning. As I was walking to work, I saw the fattest pigeons huddling outside a grocery store. There's an epidemic of obese pigeons and that makes me sad.

You know what else makes me sad? Kids on drugs. I loved every moment of Cannibal Holocaust except for the part when that guy blows cocaine into that boy's nose. That's wrong. I also am not a fan of David After the Dentist. That kid is freaking out. Put the camera down and give him a hug. I think anyone who has ever had a bad high before knows what it's like to freak out and the last thing you need is for your own parent to tape you. Instead, they should pour peanut M&M's into a bag of Sun Chips and feed it to you in the form of two M&M's to every Sun Chip.

However, UCB's own Chris Kula uploaded this video to UCBComedy and suddenly I've found myself being very forgiving of most cases of child abuse.

Watch it. Or I'll pour scalding hot water on you really slowly.

This One is About High School Musical

Okay, I was just reading this thing on a blog that is not as nearly as good as this blog about Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens spotted going inside of a sex toy store!

Omg!!!

I have my opinions about this hot teen couple and I think that just because they were spotted in a sex shop does not mean that they are sex-crazy maniacs just constantly making like bunnies.

Here is what I imagine the couple talked about just seconds before entering the sex store:



INT. MELROSE AVE. BETWEEN ALTA VISTA and POINSETTIA

ZAC: Where are you taking me? I'm scared.

VANESSA: It's fine. Ashley Tisdale told me about this store and I really think it will help us.

ZAC: But I already saw you naked once, do we have to do it again?

VANESSA: I want to have sex with you!

ZAC: Wait, that wasn't sex before?

VANESSA: No! The dance routine to "Mixin' My Turn" doesn't count as sex. How many times have I told you this?

ZAC: But what if someone sees us? Like every single one of my fans?

VANESSA: We're just walking in, buying a dental dam, and leaving! What's worse? Being caught in a sex store or being a child star who is pregnant caught in a sex store?

ZAC: My mom was pregnant once.


The end.

An Important Video You Should Watch (Seriously)

For those not in California who don't know or those in California who need to read and go outside more, Proposition 8 is a proposition that banned gay marriage in the state when it passed last Tuesday. It really is a shocking display of discrimination with little moral or logical grounding whatsoever, even looked at through the eyes of the most stringent religious and traditional values (the main perspectives used to argue for the proposition). But since arguing politics has never been my forte, I'm gonna let Jonathan Smith and company make a really strong point with this video:



Please, pass it along wherever you find it appropriate. The link to the video is http://www.ucbcomedy.com/videos/play/3145, so now you've got no excuses.

Also, this video is much better than the punch-your-car tactic employed by some (see my last post).