OH MY GOD TWITTER IS DOWN RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

You guys.

Twitter is down right now.

Why is Twitter down right now? What am I going to do with myself now that Twitter is down right now?

Jesus Christ, what have I done before Twitter was ever invented? Oh God, I have no idea.

Light things on fire? Did I just consistently light things on fire before I knew I could just Tweet my anger instead using actual flames to metaphorically ignite it?

Oh geez, it's been two minutes I have no idea what kind of ice cream Arianna Huffington is going to treat herself after lunch today because today is obviously ice cream Tuesday over at Huffington Post Headquarters. I knew that from Twitter. But now I can't know things anymore. NATHAN FILLION - WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHOW ON ADULT SWIM?!?!?!?

I'll never know...

I'll never know....

I'll just never ever never ever never ever-

Oh wait. Twitter's up and running now.

July 4th Fun!

Hey everybody! Man, it's been so long since I last blogged. I'm sorry, I've been doing Adventures to Adventure Mountain and whatnot (yes, shameful self-plug). Not to mention, America's 6th favorite holiday (after March 7, "National Crown Roast of Pork Day"-- go ahead, look it up), July 4th, is today. So I owe you something special. I figure, what's the thing we do most on this comedy-related blog? We try to do funny stuff. So, I'm thinkin' why not really mix it up and do something not funny:

Five Unfunny Ways to Spend July 4th (the unfunniest I can think of right now):

5. Have a barbecue
4. Watch fireworks
3. Eat a hot dog you microwaved
2. Forget it's 4th of July
1. Watch a movie


Do those things! Happy 4th of July! Bye!