The Top 1 Reason Why Your Kid Probably Isn't In A Hot Air Balloon

1. Because that's ridiculous. Now go inside, ya hippie.

Entourage Recap!

Those of you who are hep to the pulse of the youth know that the Entourage season six premiere was last night. But maybe some of you were at the hospital, or maybe you got whisked away by Centauri to battle alongside the Rylan Star League against the insidious Ko-Dan Empire. Either way, you missed it. Bummer, bro! But fear not. I did have enough free time in my weekend to devote half an hour to Vinny Chase and Co., so just for you, here's a recap (along with recaps of the previous seasons, lest ye forgot):

Season One
The boys hang in LA. They find their longstanding friendships strained when abundant success in the cruel Hollywood world threatens to tear them apart. Jeremy Piven puts in a breakout performance as Agent Ari Gold.

Season Two
The boys chillax in LA. They find their longstanding friendships strained when rampant success in the heartless Hollywood world threatens to tear them apart. Jeremy Piven's Ari Gold continues to be one of the most entertaining characters in television.

Season Three
The boys have fun in LA. They find their longstanding friendships strained when insanely accessible success in the cold Hollywood world threatens to tear them apart. Jeremy Piven proves Ari Gold can be a lasting character.

Season Four
The boys do stuff in LA. They find their longstanding friendships strained when confusingly easy-to-achieve success in the merciless Hollywood world threatens to tear them apart. Jeremy Piven continues to do acting as Ari Gold.

Season Five
The boys romp around LA. They find their longstanding friendships strained when now-its-just-ridiculous-that-would-never-happen success in the savage Hollywood world threatens to tear them apart. Jeremy Piven...still Ari Gold.

...and finally, the Season Six Premiere
The boys cause a ruckus in LA. They find their longstanding friendships strained when unavoidable success in the near-apocalyptic Hollywood world threatens to tear them apart. Ari Gold still does a great job of playing Agent Jeremy Piven.

So there you go! Hope you can make it next week, because I'm running out of synonyms! Hug it out!

Becky Vs. Bob McBobbob

All right, folks. First ever UCB Comedy Blog Cagematch. In one corner, we got your Becky Feldmans and we got your Cissy Fenwicks, with "BBQ Sauce," a short and sweet sketch that I freakin' love that they put together. In the other, we got YouTube user rockshya23, best known for saying "ucb just keeps pumping out shit that i dont think anyone seems to enjoy,"* and his latest video, "Bob McBobbob." Who ya got? Vote at the right!

BBQ Sauce


Bob McBobbob


We're childish tools. But come on, Becky and I needed something to do in the office today. Plus, I totally feel for rockshya23, because when I was ten I thought the name "Bob" was hilarious, too.

*Source: YouTube

Summer's the best! Here're some videos not really related to summer!

Hey everyone! I'm happy. Why am I happy? Because it's nice and beautiful and sunny outside, and that gives me an excuse to eat lots of frozen yogurt. And what better activity is there than than kicking back with a cup of Menchies and watching some videos? Here are a couple recent UCB Comedy Originals, the first being one I originally wrote with my Maude team Up, Up, Up! and filled with a bunch of performers from the LA theatre who I know from personal experience are awesome talented people, the second from the New York theatre with a bunch of performers I've never met personally but am sure are awesome talented people. Enjoy!

The Sports Show


The Cornish Game Hen Maneuver


Happy summer!

As Seen on TV

I was watching Ben Siemon's Infomercial Date and I realized that I am a victim to As Seen on TV scams. I'll admit this to you: I have purchased a lot of As Seen on TV products. I am so vulnerable to infomercials. They make it seem that with this product, my life will totally improve. I get the product, and, at first, I think, "Wow, this product is amazing!" Then, after two more tries I realize I purchased the most defunct product in the world.

Okay, so here's a list of some things I've purchased:

1.) Strap Perfect. This was my latest purchase. My bra straps are always falling over so I decided to get this 20 dollar piece of plastic to keep them in place. Basically, this thing is a piece of plastic that is snug against your skin all day. I have very sensitive skin, so the strap perfect permanently indented itself on my back and now it looks like I have a weird Satanic symbol branded on me. It's not that big of a deal... since I'm a Satanist (a Jewish Satanist at that), but if I weren't, I would be a little peeved... and a little Born-Again, too. Cost: $20.00.

2.) Tweez-E. Tweez-E is a pair of electric tweezers, promising to get it's job done painlessly and in half the time. No way. Tweez-E is not eaz-E. All it does is pinch your skin and make a weird vibrating noise that makes your roommates think you cannot stop using a vibrator, while cursing, whenever the bathroom door is shut. Cost: $30.00

3.)The Ab Glide. Okay, I didn't actually purchase this product, but I did waste a Hannukkah on this. Every year for Hannukkah, my parents use to allow me one "big" present and the rest of my presents were cheap or free little tokens like a sheet of price stickers from ShopRite or fun-shaped erasers that my mom usually gives to her students. That year I asked for an Ab Glide as my "big" present and the second after I performed my first glide, I wished I had asked for an Ab Doer. Cost: Hanukkah of 1998.

Hey, Friend. Don't Cuss.

Those that know me well know that I'm not a cusser. Just don't do it. Not my style. I'll take a "frickin' a-hole" over a "frickin' a-hole" (pretend I didn't self-censor the latter) any day of the week. Especially Sundays, the day of the Lord, but also Thursdays, the day of Thor. My linguistic tendencies harken back to the early years of the Hayes Code, when not being openly obscene forced filmmakers to be creatively indirect and heavy on the innuendo, causing movies to actually be way more awesome. That's right, I'm a modern day Lubitsch, totally awesomer than all you kids who curse. I may also be a total tool, but like, an awesome tool.

Sort of like this kid...




Oh, and don't worry. Becky and I are already official members of the No Cussing Club.