Friday, February 6, 2009

Liveblogging of Me Liveblogging

1:30 PM: There's a golden owl in the office and I'm thinking of creating a blog post that is from the owl's point of view and it would make fun of me as an intern. But then I decide that topic is a little too self-deprecating and would feed into my fear of turning into Joy Behar.

1:32 PM: I finish writing the previous sentence and I read some Jezebel to watch the 80th video they posted this morning from The View. Joy Behar talks about not knowing what a blowjob was until she was 25. Oh shit. I am turning into Joy Behar.

1:33 PM: I decide I should focus on this blog again because I'm afraid I'm getting adult ADHD. I take a sip of echinacea tea and turn my chair 15 degrees to stare at rolled up architectural plans and a pile of W2 forms.

1:35 PM: I realize that I spelled echinacea incorrectly in the previous post but it's not in my spellcheck on my computer so I decide to google it and correct it in the previous sentence.

1:36 PM: I realize I did spell echinacea correctly. Hm. I'm smarter than I think I am or at least more holistic than my computer.

1:38 PM: I go through what I've written so far and correct some minor grammatical errors. Then, I think about the time my mom fixed a bunch of grammatical errors when I was in sixth grade on my report on scarlet fever. I chose scarlet fever because I thought it sounded pretty because scarlet is a pretty word, don't you agree? Scarlet. I love the way it sounds.

1:42 PM: I've been saying the word "scarlet" aloud, by myself, for the past four minutes.

1:44 PM: Marlene comes into the office to make some copies and I tell her I'm liveblogging of me liveblogging. She's doesn't think it's as clever as I do. She makes some copies. Emily walks by and pushes the papers out of Marlene's hands. Emily tells me it's "Haze Marlene Day". I choose not to partake because...

1:47 PM: ...I click on facebook and see someone I went to high school with wrote 25 things about himself. In the title of his note he writes, "25 Things... I didn't want to do this, but everyone said I should." I think, "Shut up. You wanted to write 25 things about yourself since the day it first came around. Don't pretend that you don't like writing about yourself. You've been wanting to tell people your anecdote about your grandma going to secondary school with J.D. Salinger since you woke up one day and realized that was an anecdote."

1:50 PM: I decide now is a good stopping point for my liveblog. Marlene comes into the office to sit with me while she eats her lunch. I make a joke about giving her boyfriend a blow job.

1:51 PM: I ask Marlene if i can make a joke about giving her boyfriend a blow job in this blog post. She's cool with it.

1:53 PM: Holy shit. I realize that I'm no way like Joy Behar. My day gets better.

1:59 PM: I hit "post."

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