If you missed Chapter One of Vampire Thanksgiving, check it out by clicking here before continuing. As it is a two-chapter epic, this will be the final chapter of Vampire Thanksgiving. I would like to thank all of my faithful readers. I love you all. The months of planning, writing, and revising were not in vain.
Bella was sad because her boyfriend left her, and that makes sense because that's really sad and we've all been there. She went on her Facebook and clicked reluctantly on the "Remove Relationship" button. To top it all off the internet was out and she couldn't fix it because her stepdad was the only one who knew how to fix it and he was dead.
Edward was walking down the street when he heard a sound emanating from some bushes over there. Hmm, how very curious, he pondered to himself in his mind. So he went to the bushes and all of a sudden Buffy the Vampire Slayer jumped out. She was just about to kill him when he explained to her that he was actually one of the good vampires.
"I'm one of the good vampires," he explained.
"Okay good. Say, you're cute, would you like to go out for coffee sometime?" Buffy asked Edward out.
Edward wasn't sure what to do, but he knew that he and Bella were on a break so he went on the coffee date with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They went to Central Perk and Ross and Rachel were there, ironically. Then they went to Buffy's house and made out a lot but Edward pulled away.
"I can't do this... I love Bella," cried Edward into the raging night winds. He bid Buffy adieu and set out for Bella's place.
But when he got there, who did he find but Edgar, making out with Bella, ironically!
"Stop now! I love Bella!" Edward yelled again into the raging night winds. Edgar and Bella stopped the hot makeout sesh they were having.
"Is that true?" responded Bella with chagrin.
"I'm pretty sure. But who knows what love is?" asked Edward. Bella sighed because Edward was so smart and broody.
"No! This can't be!" lamented Edgar, whose body burst into flames, because true love was his one weakness.
Edward smiled at Bella with his vampire teeth, which actually look just like normal people teeth, because vampires don't have vampire teeth in Twilight. They went inside, made out a few times, and then ate their Thanksgiving dinner. Bella ate turkey, and Edward ate Tru Blood because he was a vampire.
"This is the stupidest thing I've ever read," said Becky from outside the window. But nobody listens to her because she's retarded. Plus, she was just jealous because she wishes she could make out with Edward.
Special thanks to Brooke Seguin for canonical accuracies.
The Cagematch has moved! - The Cagematch blog has officially moved to Tumblr. So please check us out at www.ucbcagematch.tumblr.com "ARE YOU READY?"
6 years ago