My Life at UCBcomedy.com

Folks, we've got a present for you today. We know you've been wondering, "what's the glamorous life of a UCB intern like?" Well, we're gonna show you. Right now, yes. Here's the view from Matty's luxurious seat in the back office of the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre.

Oh, man, check it out! Is that a MacBook? Yeah, it is. I get to use it! And that sweet piece of abstract art makes me seem smart. Just a little somethin' somethin' for the ladies. And, to top it all off, I get to use that stapler any time I want. As long as it's business-related. So that's the mustardy-colored front view. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY TOP THIS?!?


Holy crud! A hallway! That's what's goin' on to the left. Interesting note, nobody has ever gone down that hallway, and nobody knows what's down there. My bet's on it being the lair of the Jabberwocky.


How many people are able to say they can spin around and look at the faces of all the UCB interns at once any time they want? How many? Very few. But I can. I can. Also, that Paychex calendar sure comes in handy, mainly because it doubles as just a regular-type calendar.


My view to the right. I don't look there often. No idea who that chick is.


And, not to brag, but on very, very special days, I get a visitor! That's right, it's the UCB's own Harrison Brown! He likes to come in and tell Becky she's doing a really good job. Then I ask how I'm doing, and he just stares at the floor. Then I go home and throw myself one of my Matty Smith-patented pizza n' tears parties, my favorite kind of party. More on that later.


I hope this was as exciting for you as it was for me. You probably work in an office building, with windows and stuff. Talk about banal. If I want to see typical office workings, I can just watch reruns of Working with Fred Savage. Remember Working? They had an episode where they had a Solitaire competition. Haha, Solitaire.

Genius.